just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
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I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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