Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
birth control should be required to get into college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm bleeding and have questions
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
