Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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