I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
