sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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