Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
