sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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