Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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