i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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