8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize