And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
