You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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