very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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