ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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