guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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