Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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