WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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