You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
