either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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