I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize