she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
