A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
