i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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