Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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