I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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