17 year olds will be the death of me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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