and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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