Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Mom said you looked used
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
