he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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