belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
