it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
