the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
