I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
