yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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