i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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