It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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