sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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