I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize