I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
