We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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