That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
