i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
