i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
