I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
