Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
