When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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