Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm like, not good at living.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize