we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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