She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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