It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize