you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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