Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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