have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
