I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
