So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
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The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
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I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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