just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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