do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
