so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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