What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can't turn off my feet"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
