I'm so fucking centered right now
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize