I think scott just propositioned me for sex
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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