elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
