i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
