I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
