Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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