Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
