You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
