He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Bring me that man meat
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
