As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
