No awkward lesbian experiences without me
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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