there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
